The FF7 Couples
by Serys
Summary: The FF7 cast comes together to discuss the pairings that seem to be floating around fanfiction. Soon, they stumble upon a group no one has ever wanted to come across with. Say hello to the fangirls/boys! -[being revised, so please be patient]
1. Aeris&Tifa with some Cloud&Seph

**Disclaimer: Don't want 'em. Don't own 'em.**

**A/N: **This is what happens when the group sits down and discusses the character couplings that seems to be spreading all over fanfiction. All character bashing. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had enjoyed writing it!

Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

**The Final Fantasy VII Couples**

"Okay everyone, okay everyone. Gather 'round! Gather 'round!" Cloud, the leader of AVALANCHE, stood up and placed both hands on the oak table that took up ninety percent of the meeting room. He stared at his friends as they tried to seat themselves around the table, which seemed pretty hard considering how big Barret and Cait Sith was.

"Damn Cloud. Ya don't have to repeat everything! We can hear perfectly clear!" Cid said, taking a puff of his cigarette.

Tifa hacked as she breathed in the smoke. She began to fan her face. "Cid, could you please get rid of that? I'm literally dying from the fumes." She covered her mouth and sat down next to Aerith, who was currently seated next to Cloud. Tifa caught this and glared at the flower girl evilly, knowing that the Cetra also had a little crush on the blond swordsman as well.

Cid rolled his eyes and took one last great puff before throwing the cigarette over his shoulder, not really caring to put it out before doing it. He seated himself next to Tifa and just glared at everyone. Hell, if he couldn't have his cigarette, he might as well be a grumpy little asshole from now on. He really hated it when others complained about his unhealthy habits. It pissed him off.

Yuffie gasped in surprised when she felt something land on the top of her head. She dared not touch it since she figured it was gum again. Not too long ago, Aerith had accidentally put gum in her hair and it took forever to get it out. It didn't help much since Barret suggested that she use hair removing gel to get it out. Although something was a little different...and why the hell was her hair smoking?

"Uh, Yuffie. Your hair is..." Reno trailed, idly pointing at the top of her head. Elena giggled while Rude stood silently and watched.

"AAH!" Was Yuffie's delayed reaction, her hands attacking her hair. The cigarette fell to the ground, the end still lit. Yuffie crushed it with her foot and it was out...but it did not stop the disturbing smell of burnt hair spreading across the small room.

"UGH!" every said in unison as they covered their nose from the offending odor. They all glared at Yuffie and she scowled back at them.

"Hey! It's not my fault! Blame Cid and his stupid cigarette!" she yelled, her hands on her hips.

Cid stood up angrily, it was obvious he was offended. "'Blame Cid'? Blame you and your dumb hair. What the hell is it anyway? A mullet? Only lesbians wear those!"

"It's not a damn MULLET!"

"It sure as hell looks like one!"

"Oww! Cloud, you elbowed my eye!"

"Barret, stop poking me!"

"Vincent would you please MOVE?"

"..."

"You're touching meee."

"Get off my feet!"

"There is no room in here."

"Damn, it still smells like shit in here."

"Your hair is too big!"

"Your face is too ugly!"

"Be quiet and push him out the damn window!"

"NO!"

But it was too late. Barret flung Cait Sith's stuffed ass out the open window before the toy-thing could do anything. Barret smirked as he watched Cait Sith land harshly on the concrete below. "I always hated the ShinRa," he said before closing the window back up.

"Barret, that wasn't nice. Cait Sith was a part of this group, too," Aerith said, shaking her head at him.

Barret smacked his lips, and made some weird motions with his huge arms. "Like hell he was. He had no part in this meeting anyway. He doesn't do anything but scream into his megaphone, plus he was a waste of space. I say good riddance."

"Did you forget that Reeve controls him?" Aerith countered.

Barret rolled his eyes at the Ancient. He thought of something smart to say. "Uh..um...Well...uh, Reeve is stupid!"

"Morons." Vincent's voice spoke up and everyone was silent and all turned to look at him. The silent gunman/ex-turk/failed experiment/wannabe vampire became angry. "What the hell are you all looking at?"

"Nothing," they all said.

"...Okay," Cloud said, seating himself in the rainbow chair, his leader chair. Cloud always liked bright rainbow colors, and Tifa always became a little concerned at this. "Lets start the meeting, shall we?"

Everyone perfected themselves in their respected seats and turned to listen to their leader. Cloud noticed this and continued.

"A certain someone has brought to my attention that there is this strange website with stories-"

"STORIES?" Yuffie screamed.

"Yes, stories about-" he was once again interrupted.

"STORIES ABOUT WHAT?"

Cloud was becoming irritated. "Stories about us."

"STORIES ABOUT US?"

"What the fuck, Yuffie? Could someone staple her mouth shut, please?" Cloud asked and it looked like Cid was going to comply. Yuffie noticed this and became scared.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I wont talk anymore, I promise."

Cloud rolled his eyes and started over. "As I was saying. There is a website called fanfiction that contains stories about us. Now...I feel as a leader that I should bring this to your attention because there are all types of genres with each of us in them."

Tifa looked pissed. "Who did this?"

Cloud shook his head and sighed, like he did all the time when he was asked a question. He replied in the same expecting answer. "I don't know."

"Damn! The injustice! We must find out who did this!" Tifa cried, raising a fist in the air.

"Well...for starters, we could discuss the first couple that I randomly picked out; Aerith and Tifa."

Everyone looked shocked. "WHAT?"

Both Tifa and Aerith stared at each other, their features showed nothing but disgust. Barret smirked, "randomly, huh?" he laughed and the guys became interested, while the girls just rolled their eyes.

"Any comments?" Cloud asked.

"Completely disgusting!" Aerith cried out, obviously uncomfortable with the topic. "Me and Tifa? Are they out of their minds? Never have we showed each other that we had feelings of romance towards one another. It's..It's...It's just wrong!"

Tifa nodded. "I agree. I mean, why would people get that idea about us anyway? We both made it clear that her and I were after Cloud the entire time. And besides, we're just friends!"

Cloud raised an eyebrow at Tifa. "Just friends, huh? Well, I got proof that says otherwise."

"What?" Aerith and Tifa said in unison. Cloud gave them several sheets of paper. They both skimmed through it before scrunching up their noses and began tearing the paper into small tiny pieces.

"HEY! THOSE ARE MINE!" Cloud yelled, trying to gather as many pieces he could get his hands on.

Tifa looked angry and Aerith shook her head at him. "Pervert," they muttered under their breaths, while crossing their arms.

"Hehe...how about you ladies give us a little play?" Cid said, leaning back in his chair with a grin, which was a bad idea since Tifa's fist came out of no where and struck him in the chest, rendering his chair to fall back with him on it. Cid coughed, unable to withstand the impact. "Damn woman! What did I tell you about hitting me in the chest?" he yelled.

"You're lucky I didn't hit you below the belt," Tifa replied coolly, turning away from him. She raised an eyebrow a Cloud, who was still crawling on the floor with small pieces of paper in his hands.

"Cloud, get up now!" she said, kicking him in the back of his head. Cloud grunted and stood up, seating himself back into his rightful chair, rubbing his head.

"That hurted..."

Tifa scoffed, looking angry.

"Hm...well, does anyone have anything else to say?" Cloud asked, trying to put together the pieces of paper with some difficulty.

"Well, how do these T and A stories start out, anyway?" Reno asked, bobbing his rod on his shoulder, obviously bored and had nothing better to do than to attend to something that he didn't want to be at. "T and A...Hahahaha! It kind of makes sense that Tifa would be the tits and Aerith would be the ass." Reno laughed at his own joke. Aerith and Tifa scowled.

"They usually find out that they're both not good enough for me and realize that they loved each other alllllll alooooong," was Cloud's egotistical reply

It was Tifa and Aerith's cue to roll their eyes at him.

"Yeah right...Cloud too good for _me_?" Aerith laughed, unable to hide her amusement in her voice. "Did you all forget that I'm like...the Messiah? I saved the planet and all that crap. I would think that it was the other way around."

Tifa resisted the urge to punch Aerith's face in and Barret ignored his inner voice to that repeatedly told him to bust a cap in her ass.

"Now you see why I killed her in the first place! And you all told me that _I_ was evil," Sephiroth exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air.

"Let's get off this pairing. We've talked about it far enough. Whats the next one?" Tifa said, hoping that they had enough sense to change the subject.

Cloud stared at his little pocket computer and grimaced. He clearly didn't want to discuss the next one.

"Well?" they all prodded.

Cloud cleared his throat and mumbled.

"Huh?" Everyone asked, leaning closer to the mercenary.

"..."

"Speak up, Cloud!"

"ME AND SEPHIROTH! OKAY?"

Everyone backed away, more so the guys. It was the girls' turn to become interested. They giggled and whispered to each other while pointing at Cloud and Sephiroth.

Sephiroth scowled and became angry. "Me and the puppet? HAH! HAHAHA! That is amusing, not to mention utterly stupid."

Cloud looked ashamed. "Well..." he trailed, feeling that he shouldn't of really said anything. Since he started to say something, he might as well go all the way. "Well, you _did_ molest me when I was 16!"

"WHAT? I never-" Sephiroth was interrupted.

"Don't deny it! I must confess! Reason why I'm so screwed up is because I was mentally, sexually and physically abused by Sephiroth while I was with ShinRa training to be in SOLDIER!" Cloud explained, holding his head in his hands. He began to weep at the memories that returned.

Sephiroth was speechless and everyone else was silent.

"Sephiroth! How could you?!" Elena was appauled. Like she had any morals when it came to destroying a person's life. She was a mordern day Turk, after all!

"He is twisting the story around. I never forced him to do anything!"

Cloud's high pitched sobs got even louder.

"Lets continue this tomorrow..." Red XIII commented, watching Aerith and Tifa fight over who should comfort Cloud first.

Everyone else looked on and nodded.

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N: What's the next 2 pairings should I discuss? RR!**


	2. AeriSeph and the Yuffentine

_A/N: Oh my! I didn't expect so many reviews in so little time! Much thanks to all of you guys who commented my little story! And since the majority of the reviews wanted a Yuffentine and a AeriSeph pairing. That's what I'm gonna give ya!_

Anyway, enough from me. On with the story!

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them.**

* * *

**The Final Fantasy VII Couples  
**

"Cloud! Get yo' spiky ass up before I throw your white ass off the damn couch!" Barret exclaimed, pushing Cloud's sleepy form off the green sofa. Cloud landed with a 'thump' and woke up. He raised his head to see that all of his friends were there with him. Obviously waiting to start the next meeting.

Cloud groaned, remembering the horrible nightmare that he just had. Terrible past circumstances played over and over in his head and the only face that he could see as he looked around was Sephiroth's. Cloud whimpered and wrapped his blankets around himself and started to rock back and forth.

They all rolled his eyes at him.

"Cloud, stop being such a big dumb baby. It wasn't like you had any complaints during those times. In fact, If I can recall...It was you who told me that you'd do _anything_ to get into SOLDIER just so you could be like me. Hell, if anyone else was in your place, they'd be happy to oblige with the requests I gave you," Sephiroth said, taking a big bite out of his apple.

Cloud shuddered at the action he just took. It brought back so many bad memories...

"It's not like it did him any good anyway, " Tifa said matter-of-factly, "Cloud didn't get into SOLDIER."

Sephiroth thought for a moment. "Huh. I guess you're right."

"Anyway...Let's get this meeting started!" Yuffie said, hopping over the couch to sit next to Barret, who scowled at her damn antics. He really hated that ninja girl. If it was up to him, he would of left her flat ass out in the forest for the squirrels to eat her.

"Damn bitch..." he muttered.

Aerith sighed and flipped through the television channels. She was really upset that Sephiroth had Cloud before she did. Knowing how oblivious Cloud was to her and Tifa's come ons, she was pretty sure that it was his first time. She sighed a second time and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Vincent come up the stairs. It was obvious that he was grumpy this morning.

"I'm grumpy," he said.

"It's obvious," she replied.

Cloud crawled to the coffee table of his Costa Del Sol home. On it, was a couple stacks of papers. It was the topics of their next discussion. He really didn't want to be seen like this. His hair was a mess, his face lost its natural lift, and mascara was running down his cheek from his silent sobs that took place last night. He was a total wreck this morning.

"I need some ice cream..." he mumbled before getting up and stumbling to the kitchen.

"Wow...I didn't know...it was this bad..." Tifa whispered more to herself than anyone else.

Sephiroth took another bite from his apple and just shrugged his shoulders. It was clear that he didn't really care about the state that Cloud was in. Taking the remote from Aerith, much to her dismay, he switched it to the Saturday cartoons.

"Oh cool. Yu-Gi-Oh!" was all he said before getting lost into the show. He always liked Joey. Maybe it was because he reminded him of a certain blond that he knew.

"I'm not waiting for Cloud to get better. I wanna see who we're gonna start talkin' about," Yuffie said, sliding off the couch and to the table. She picked up to the documents and searched through them. She gasped out loud, which got everyone's attention.

"What is it you dumb spoiled brat?" Sephiroth asked randomly, taking another bite into his apple.

Yuffie scowled at him before throwing the papers in his face. "You and Aerith, you damn player!" she said. "First Cloud and now Aerith."

Cid laughed, leaning back in his chair. "Damn. Sephiroth got game."

Sephiroth took a look at the heading of the paper. His jaw dropped to his lap and his apple fell from his hand. "Me and the girl?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cloud walked back into the room with a bucket of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. He munched on it happily.

"Next pairing; Sephiroth and Aerith," Tifa said.

Cloud wasn't happy anymore.

"Oh...crap," was all Aerith could say.

Yuffie giggled at them. "Sephiroth and Aerith sitting in a tree H-U-M-P-I-N-G!"

Sephiroth picked up his fallen apple and chucked the fruit at her. It hit her right in her face and Yuffie fell over, knocked out.

"Aerith and Sephiroth...it kinda of makes sense in an insane sorta way..." Tifa said, then suddenly Aerith's palm print was displayed across her face.

Tifa was shocked. So was everyone else.

"Uh...sorry 'bout that. Lost control, ya know?" was her apology. After all, did she need to be _that_ offended? Of course, Sephiroth is good-looking and all...but he killed her and stuff. So...he probably didn't feel anything towards her.

Aerith sighed once more.

"Well, they do kind of... oh, I don't know," Red said, sounding confused. "I'm guessing that I am wrong, but both of their names end with a _'th'_ sound, so it must be...no, it _has_ to be ...fate."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Sephiroth stopped Red's burning trail of thought right there. "I thought we all decided a while ago that Aerith was now Aeris? It sounds a hell a lot better than the correct spelling."

Tifa pursed her lips in thought, but it just made her look desperate for a kiss. "Yeah. Aerith does sound like you are saying Aeris, but with a lisp."

"What about Sephiroth?" Aerith was afraid that something huge was going down right before her eyes. She had to stop it. "How about Sephiros... or Sephiroia. Or maybe Sephie?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "Nice try, Aeris. But you can't change the perfection in _my_ name. My _'th'_ is staying."

"So, are we in an agreement here?" Vincent asked everybody. "Aerith will now be Aeris?"

"Yeah, yeah." Cloud nodded, as did everyone else.

"Wait...wait a minute!" Aerith...or now, Aeris said. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"No," Cid said matter-of-factly. "Because you are not the one that has to sound like a damn retard, pronouncing your name, Aer_is_."

"Well, there goes my theory on why those two were perfect together." Red was dismayed that his reasoning behind the perfection of Sephiroth and Aeris was now ruined. "By the way, since we are on the topic of name changing," Red continued. "May I be called by my birth name, as well? I don't like Red at all."

"But..Red ex, eye, eye, eye makes perfect sense for you!" Tifa exclaimed.

"I want to be Nanaki now," Red was adamant.

"You can't just switch names at the drop of a hat," Cid tried to reason with the red animal, completely forgetting that is exactly what they did with Aeris. "You just can't."

"Hey!" Aeris cried.

"My name is now Nanaki, bitches!" Red er...Nanaki fumed.

"Okay, okay. Damn." Cid back away, as did everyone else.

"Talkin' about this shit is annoying. We need to go out and start killin' things. Like we did back in the day," Barret said, rolling a ball of yarn to Nanaki so he could calm down.

"Hey...I just noticed...Where is Reno, Elena and Rude?" Cloud asked, sitting himself next to Nanaki, who now laid on his back, playing with a ball of bright yellow yarn. He barked happily.

"Oh...they left a little while ago, man. Said somethin' 'bout Rufus having butt cancer or...somethin'," Barret answered, "Now that I think about it...in what way could they help? I don't think butt cancer is...uh..curable."

Cid smoked on a cigarette. He made sure that Tifa was far away from him as possible. He didn't want her complaining again. "Lets get back on the topic!" he said from the basement door.

"Yeah yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Aeris and Sephiroth," Cloud said as he took another big scoop of his ice cream. He shot a glance a Sephiroth, the great, magnificent, gorgeous, luscious, beautiful sex god of every woman's dreams. Cloud snorted, frowned and thought, _he ain't a god, I put a stop to that crap. His ego don't need to be bigger than it already is._

"What's wrong, Cloud?" Tifa asked, concern forcing its way into her voice. She was always thinking about Cloud 'cause that's what secret crushes do.

"Nothing, nothing," he answered quickly. He lowered his head and hid his face in the bucket of ice cream. Tifa did not look convinced.

"Cloud..." she began.

"God damn, woman! Leave him alone!" Cid barked.

Aeris coughed. "I still don't like my name being changed."

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how compatible do you think Aeris and Sephiroth are?" Nanaki asked as he began to paw the yarn.

"Zero!" Cloud exclaimed, throwing chunks of ice cream at Nanaki. Of course, the beast didn't noticed. He was too wrapped up in his play. Literally.

"Cloud, would you stop being a whiny little bitch and get over whatever you have a problem getting over?" Cid asked. Cloud pouted.

And everyone laughed.

"OH MY GOD!" Yuffie screamed, now awake with eyes wide and mouth open.

"Huh?"

"ME AND VINNIE?"

"WHAT?" Everyone was shocked.

Vincent almost cried. "Oh no..."

"Gimme that!" Cloud said, taking the paper from Yuffie's hands.

"Oh...that's right. It really does say Yuffie and Vincent," he stated, giving the paper back to Yuffie for her to play with.

Barret and Cid laughed. Vincent began to load his shotgun. They stopped.

"Well, they _do_ say opposites attract..." Sephiroth said.

"Oh, really?" Vincent countered. "Like you and Aeris, right?"

"Better Aeris than Yuffie." Sephiroth laughed. "HAHA. Man, these people on fanfiction are nuts.."

"You talked to Yuffie... how many times, Vincent?" Aeris asked.

"I've never spoke to her, I spoke _of_ her though. I guess that is when they decided to seal my fate with her."

"That isn't true. What about Deepgr-" Cloud was cut off.

"I never spoke to her!" Vincent looked desperate.

"Hey...this has some additional info here," Tifa said. "Look, it states the author's name and the story that the person wrote."

"OH OH OH! Gimme that!" Cloud reached for the paper in Tifa's hands. She yanked it away from him. "Go cradle yourself in your little corner and let me do this!" she said, getting up and walking away from him. Yuffie followed her.

"I wanna read what they wrote about me and Vinnie!" she whispered, peeking over Tifa's shoulder. Tifa grinned and handed the story to her. "Its just a little sweet one," she said. Yuffie took it and bounced away happily to her room. She closed the door and locked it.

Vincent raised an eyebrow at the Wutai ninja...but chose to think nothing of it.

"Anyway...what other info does it have?" Cid said, trying not to look interested.

"Well...the author's name is uh...Serys. She wrote the story about Vincent and Yuffie," she said, sitting down, "Ooh...it also has her address and phone number!"

"Really? Let's phone that bitch and cuss her ass out!" Barret said, pulling out his PHS. Everyone gathered around and listened in as Barret dialed the number. Eventually, someone picked up.

"We're not interested. Bye!" a voice said into the phone before hanging up.

Barret was shocked. He looked at the phone like it mutated into a colorful snake that spoke perfect spanish. "Oh hell no she just didn't!"

"I uh..think she just did, Barret." Aeris said.

Barret redialed the number. Someone picked up.

"...What?"

"Listen foo'. I want to talk to uh...Surus?" Barret looked like he was thinking.

"It's Serys."

"Uh. Yeah! Lemme talk to Serys."

"She's speaking."

"Yo! I got something I wanna say to you!"

"What is it?"

"Uh..um...uh...er...well..I...uh..ya see..." Barret fumbled.

Vincent got angry and took the phone from the black man.

"Are you the culprit who wrote the story containing Yuffie and I in it?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? Who is this?"

"Vincent Valentine."

"Yeaaaah...I'm sure it is."

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"..."

"...!"

"OH MY GOD!"

Everyone else looked at each other. "Whoa..."

"Yes. As I was saying earlier. Are you the one who displayed a story on a site with Yuffie and I in it?" Vincent continued the conversation.

"Umm.." was Serys's reply.

"That's all I needed to know." Vincent said and ended the call.

"Vincent..?" Aeris was starting to look scared.

Just then, Yuffie busted out of her room with the story in hand. She was blushing. All turned to look at her.

"Oh! Vinnie! I didn't know you cared!" Yuffie said before diving toward the gunman. She threw her arms around his waist. Pure bliss showed on her face. "Oh Vincent! I think I love you!" was her exact words.

Vincent sweat dropped and tried to pry Yuffie off of him. Keyword: tried. He sighed. "Yuffie. You must understand that whatever you just read never really took place. I feel nothing for you," he told the girl.

"Lets just pretend for today!" she tightened her hold on him.

Vincent felt like throwing up. "Why do I even try..?" he said to himself. He tried his best to look undisturbed. But on the inside, blowing his brains out seemed to be the perfect solution to his problem. Even if it was permanent.

"Lets kill her," Sephiroth said slowly. His voice was low and evil and looked really interested with the idea. But of course, killing was one of Sephiroth's strong qualities.

"Wait...isn't killing innocent people wrong?" Aeris always wanted to voice her thoughts.

"Innocent people? Please Aeris, she wrote a Yuffentine! I've got to say that I, for one, feel Vincent's pain. And for once, please don't be the group's voice of reason. It pisses me off!" Cid said, standing up.

"A...what?" Aeris looked confused like everyone else. "Yuff-y-tane?"

"A Yuffentine." Cid corrected. He was sweating from embarrassment. Why did he have to say that?

"What's a Yuff-en-tine?" Aeris questioned. She glanced to Yuffie, who looked just as lost as she did.

"Kind of like..." Cid tried to think of the perfect words to describe it. He scratched his head. "Like a coupling of both Vincent's and Yuffie's names."

"But why did you use Vincent's last name and not his first?" Cloud asked.

"I dunno...you try to come up with a word that uses both their names without blowing your tongue all to hell."

"Vinfie." Sephiroth wanted to take part in this conversation. It sounded like fun.

Tifa frowned and shook her head. "No.. that doesn't sound right."

"Yuffincent?" This one came from Nanaki.

"That is passable." Tifa nodded.

"Oh, to hell with it. Yuffentine is good, I guess." Barret was obviously now the decider.

"What the fuck, everybody?" Vincent couldn't believe they were actually talking about this.

"Forget it!" Cid reached over to grab his hockey stick.

"What are ya gonna do with that?" Barret asked.

"Never mind that, Barret!" Cid turned to Tifa. "Where does this Serys live?"

Tifa thought for a moment. "Deep in the Sector 7 slums," she replied.

Cid was grinning. "Let's go guys!"

"Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!" the guys chanted while the girls just followed silently after them.

* * *

"Let's go back!" Cid said, hiding behind Barret. Now that Cid thought about it, he really didn't want to be in the slums. Even though the sun was out, castings its bright golden rays down on earth...the street looked so gloomy and depressing. There were a couple of people staring at them with this strange look in their eyes.

"Cid, stop being a damn pussy!" the dark skinned man said. He eyed a couple hoodlums on a corner who looked really familiar to him. "Hm..."

"I'm guessing this must be the 'bad' part of slums..." Aeris trailed, scooting closer to Cloud. Tifa glared at Aeris from behind.

"Is there a good part of the slums?" was Nanaki's rhetorical question.

"Touché," Aeris looked impressed.

"Yo Jacque!" Barret called out to one of the girls that stood on a corner. The girl turned with wide eyes. Barret motioned her over to him, and she came.

"Hello?" Jacque asked, she looked hard at the man before her. She was really tired, she worked all morning. "Barret..?"

"Hey Jacque!" Barret grinned.

"OH MY GAWD! LIIIIKE BARRRET!" her energy was back as she clung to his arm, pawing at it lightly. Barret grimaced. He suddenly remembered why he never wanted to see her again, but then he just remembered the reason why they were here. "Heh...Hey, do ya have any chance to know where this...uh..Surus lives?"

"You mean Serys?" Jacque asked, suddenly losing her interest in him.

"Yeah! Serys. Where does she live?"

Jacque sighed and pointed lazily toward the big red brick house. She said nothing and walked away.

"Time to kick ass!" Barret said before leading the group toward the said house. As they came to the said house, Vincent felt that it was appropriate to dent the mailbox.

"Vincent," Aeris used her 'that was wrong' tone.

"Shh! Shh! I'm approaching the door..." Cloud said as he talked into his recorder, he turned to Yuffie. "We are going to proceeding to knock on the door." He motioned for Yuffie to knock it. No answer. She knocked again, harder. Still no answer. Cloud turned back to his recorder. "We are now going to bust insid-" he stopped talking at the violent sound of Vincent's shotgun blowing the door's bolts off. It fell with a bang.

As the dust settled, everyone, excluding Cloud and Yuffie, backed away slowly with a scared expression across their faces. Vincent shook his head, his teeth clenched. "I don't think this was a good idea."

"Why?" Completely oblivious, Cloud stepped in front of Vincent. He peered into the dark room and looked around. His gut was suddenly struck with a nervous cold feeling. "I'm getting a strange vibe from inside the room. This doesn't feel right."

"I don't understand," Yuffie said, confused. What the hell were they talking about?

Then suddenly...

...A girly high pitched scream was heard from the top of the stairs.

It was then, she knew what they were in big trouble. For they were in the presence of the dangerous specimen known as: The Fan Girl.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH! RUN FOR IT!" Cid screamed, turning around and started running, leaving his hockey stick back at hell. Everyone obeyed. They didn't dare to think what would happen if they stayed.

Down the street the chase was on. The girl was screaming on the top of her lungs as she ran after them.

"PLEASE STOP! I WONT BITE!...UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO!"

"HURRY VINCENT! SHOOT HER!" Cloud yelled, wishing that he brought his baseball bat with him. He really could use it right now...like bash himself on the head with it. Oh the pain would so be worth it if he could.

Vincent took out his gun quickly and aimed behind him, not daring to look over his shoulder and made an attempt to shoot the forsaken crazy fan girl. Hell, they were all crazy.

"VINCE-" the screaming suddenly stopped, but the group kept on running. Vincent aimed behind him and shot a couple more times, before giving up. He was really tired from running. He could use the rest. They all could.

"Dammit! Sephiroth knew that this would happen! I knew I shouldn't have believed him when he said that he had a yoga meeting today! Man, what was I thinking..?" Cloud said, pissed off.

Cid came to a stop and started coughing. He was out of breath, out of patience and out of cigarettes. "I need to quit smoking," he said as he tried to catch his breath. Everyone stopped and looked behind them, expecting to find a bunch of fan girls and boys screaming to the top of their lungs, confessing their love for them.

But they found no one. Serys was gone. No where to be seen. And all were glad.

"Lets get the hell out of here!" Yuffie said.

* * *

**TBC**

_A/N: OH NOES! Where has Serys gone? Find out in the next chapter!...Oh! and also...I'd like to ask permission if I could use any of you in my story...like...make an appearance and then...join forces with each other and battle against the cast. I think that would be fun to write._


End file.
